A year ago today I began my blog! While in the midst of setting up my website and such I learned November 17 is World Prematurity Day. The month of November is also Prematurity Awareness Month, and I remember getting goose bumps. It seemed so fitting! Part of the reason I was starting a blog was to share my story.
I am the mama of three premature babies and it is from them my blog and company gets its name. Christopher, Jr. (Precious One) was born on December 9, 2003 at only 22 weeks. He lived for 63 minutes before passing away in my arms. Joshua James (Blessing) was born on April 28, 2010, also at 22 weeks; he passed away moments before he was born but left an eternal mark on my heart. They both did. Their brother, Henry Lynn (Blessing) was born on August 8, 2011 at 32 weeks. Henry not only survived but thrived and we thank God every day for our miracle baby.
The name comes from their nicknames we gave them in utero before we knew they were boys. We didn’t want to simply call them it or the baby. We still call Henry Blessing. There is so much more to all three of their stories and over the last year I have struggled to write them and they are still coming. It is an odd thing; I have no trouble talking about them. All three of them have very emotional stories that somehow are very difficult to put onto paper. So bear with me. Even Henry’s is not an easy story to tell, though his has a happy ending. Getting there was a long, emotional, and at times painful journey that is not easy to tell and relive.
My blog has made quite a transformation. It has turned into more of a health/food blog of late, which was not my intention, but there have been a lot of health changes in my body that I am making for the better and some things are exciting, others just plain interesting, so I share that. Times like this, though, make me think of the other reason I have decided to share my heart with you – my three beautiful boys.
I am a mother of three. Not one. Christopher and Joshua left permanent marks on my heart and holes in our family only they can fill. As active and loud as Henry, a typical three-year-old boy can be you may be surprised to hear sometimes our house seems too quiet. Because it should be so much more active. It’s hard not to think that way at times. I miss them every day.
March of Dimes does amazing work and is working hard to learn about, raise awareness, and hopefully prevent premature birth and they were asking for stories so I made this to share:
I love sharing Henry’s success. He is a miracle. No doubt about it. I lost count how many times we feared we might lose him. There were midnight emergency room visits at 19 and 22 weeks, with me contracting, and I was admitted to the hospital at 24 weeks, with them sure I was going to deliver – but I made it 8 more weeks of daily contractions and hosts of other issues, amazing and astounding the doctors and nurses. He is a miracle. Despite the odds stacked against him – and me – we made it through it together and he is here and absolutely wonderful. I still sometimes stare at him in amazement that this beautiful little boy is really here and he is mine.
Then I thought something was missing. Not every prematurity story has a happy ending. They weren’t asking for those, and I understand why, but the fact is not every story has a happy ending and as I already stated I am a mother of THREE, not just one. So I created this for my angel babies:
If you are one of the millions of mamas or daddies grieving today instead of rejoicing in thankfulness then I send hugs to you. I got my happy ending, but I ache every day for the two precious boys I will never see grow up. I spent a few wonderful hours with them trying to squeeze in a lifetime of love. My husband and I had to say hello and goodbye all at once to those two sweet angels and they may be gone but they will never be forgotten. Today is for you too.
Thank you for joining me on my journey. I look forward to continuing to share it with you.