Peace in the Breaking

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Jude 1:20-21 ~ But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life. ( NJKV)

 

I’ve been working on several ideas for blog posts and when something gets pushed to the back burner I know there’s a reason and they will be posted when they are meant to be.  I was working on another already last week with a Thanksgiving one planned as well and then got the idea for this one…and we all got sick!  Then there was the holiday and so I am just getting organized again and this one was foremost on my mind so it got brought to the front again.  I really let the Spirit lead me with what I talk about and know when I can’t get something off my mind it’s time.

 

Let me start with a story.  Last Sunday, a week ago, my husband was off of work and I had finally gotten together with my mother-in-law and we had finalized our menu plans for Thanksgiving.  Since the hubby was home I decided to have some mama time and he stayed home with our four-year-old so I could get the shopping done.  Our son had already thrown up twice, but I didn’t give it much thought.  Kids just throw up sometimes.  He wasn’t running a fever, but definitely wasn’t himself and he was sleeping when I left.

 

A section of my list was for a little local shop I love, and the items on my list were some more incense for Henry’s room as he was out (the vanilla is his favorite), some spray bottles for a spray with essential oils I was making, and a hostess gift for my mother-in-law on Thanksgiving.  So I had my list but can never resist the crystals section!

 

I was drawn to the box of fluorite, which is pictured above here.  Isn’t it beautiful?  I’ve had it on my list for a while and it is a stone that is great for understanding, objectivity, and understanding, but it is also very good at dispelling negativity and can be very calming.  When I choose a crystal I listen to my inner voice and usually my fingers just go to one, but this one, with its clear stripes of green and purple drew me in.  (Sometimes they are more purple or more green, and sometimes the colors are mixed, or striped like this one.)  Go with what you are drawn to when choosing one.  Even if it is you are simply drawn to the pretty!

 

I picked it up and though I had a basket I kept it in my hand the whole time I was shopping.  I also was drawn to the below amethyst and it’s going to be jewelry-bound.  Amethyst is very healing and calming, and one of my favorite stones.  It and the fluorite I carried through the store, grasped in my hand.

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When I finished my shopping and approached the counter I simply opened my hand and showed the man there, telling him I simply had to hold him.  He smiled knowingly and rang them up without making me let go of them because he understood.  I had also purchased a rough piece of rose quartz and when he placed it into a little bag I handed him my two crystals in my hand, knowing I had several more stops and thought they would be safest in the bag and then I could cleanse and charge them when I got home, but when I got back into my car I pulled them from the bag again and held them clasped in my hand as I drove.  I was running my fingers over the fluorite and noticed something.  My thumb hit a rough spot and I was approaching a stop light and looked down, noticing a small chip on one end; can you see it? (Right at the top.)

 

I thought that was very interesting.  That is not the first time I have been drawn to and chosen a crystal that was less than perfect.  There are different schools of thought as far as the meaning behind a broken crystal.  If it breaks and it is already yours, then that could mean it is done working for you.  Cleanse it, give it a good charging, then either set it aside in your sacred space or gift it to someone who you feel led to.  Some say some crystals break because they are so powerful they simply can’t hold it all.  I accept that!  They also say a chip or crack is a way of it releasing its power.

 

The first thought that occurred to me, there in the car, is none of us are perfect and many of us are broken, chipped, scuffed, and our worth is no less.  We are still beautiful.  We are still of use.  And often those so-called imperfections make us stronger and in the end all the more beautiful.  I can’t wait to see what this beautiful little piece does for me.  I brought her home, placed her on a piece of selenite since it was late in the day and lit some frankincense incense – both are very cleansing.  She charged in the full moon light the other night and is now in a pretty dish in my sacred space, waiting for however I feel led to use her.

 

But what if your crystal breaks?  It can be devastating.  As it is to lose one.  Let me back up.

 

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling a lot of anxiety and getting ready to drive for our car service.  I have also been dealing with the after-effects of completely weaning our son, and my right breast was sore and a little swollen.  The dress pants that were clean had no pockets and I like to stick my crystals in my bra when that happens (which is a better place for them than your pocket anyway because they are against your skin that way).  I have done it many, many, times without issue and so into my bra a piece of aquamarine went on the left (it is very calming, gives courage, and augments your personal power – it works really well for me when I am feeling overly anxious) and a piece of moonstone into the right.  Moonstone works wonders for anxiety, but is also a very powerful stone of femininity.  It is great for hormonal issues and all that other girly stuff and so I thought it might calm that breast down, which it did…for a while.

 

My son and I left the house and stopped first for gas and then to the car wash, where my in-laws were meeting us to pick him up and meet me so I wouldn’t have to drive all the way to their house.  This car wash involves a detail both in and out and so you leave your car and head inside and relax while they do all the work (worth every penny!).  We made a stop in the restroom and in helping my son one of the stones tumbled out of my shirt and onto the floor.  I quickly grabbed it, blew on it and thought some happy thoughts, and tucked it back in.  We waited for the car then met up with my in-laws in another part of the parking lot where I transferred my son’s car seat into their car.

 

I was just finishing when the aquamarine fell from my bra again and tumbled across the pavement.  Now, it was rather funny as my father-in-law picked it up and handed it back to me, obviously wondering what on earth that thing was – and what it had been doing in my shirt!  I thanked him, said goodbye, and tucked it back into my shirt when no one was looking.  But then something occurred to me and my hand went to the right side to check my moonstone, but it was gone!

 

I had been getting back into the car but I frantically looked around me, got out of the car, and made my way back to where my in-law’s car had been.  Nothing.  I made my way back to the car wash – where I had gotten into my car, where we had waited for it, and then I completely retraced my steps, going through the whole building – anywhere we had been – but nothing.  It was gone.

 

I was absolutely devastated.  They start to carry your energy and really sort of become a part of you.  To lose this one – a stone I use every day and has very special meaning to me – was just too much.  Not to mention the reason I was wearing them in the first place – I was certainly feeling the anxiety now!  I took a few deep breaths, though, and told myself it was ok and got back on the road.  But I didn’t feel ok.  I called my husband to let him know I had dropped our son off and his parent’s plans later since he was the one picking him up and he could tell something was up.  When he asked what, that was it and I started to bawl.  My crystal was gone!

 

He knows what they mean to me and was very sweet and understanding and offered if he could look.  Then it occurred to me.  The car!  I had hooked the car seat into my in-law’s backseat then strapped our son into it.  What if it had fallen out then?  I described it to him and after we hung up I said a little prayer and felt much better.  I tried not to think of it and made my way to my run.  I was able to fix my make-up before my pick up and while waiting I got a text from my husband!  He had found it!  Sure enough, it had fallen down next to the seat, on the carpet, so I didn’t hear it fall.  I was so happy and almost cried again!

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My beautiful moonstone crystal.  One of my most favorites!

 

What if you lose it and don’t find it?  I briefly considered that idea and though it saddened me greatly the thought came to me that there could be reason for that.  Maybe someone else would find it that needed it even more than I did.  You never know.

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The aquamarine.

I found it so then what?  Cleanse it.  It had already fallen onto the ground once then we had been separated for a while so my husband buried it in sea salt while I was gone.  (Yes, he is as hokey as I am!  Aren’t I blessed?)  I got home and added the aquamarine as it had fallen too and had worked pretty hard after all that and left them overnight.  The next morning I rinsed them both and placed in the sunlight for a couple of hours to further cleanse and charge them.

 

Back to the crystal shop.  As I was leaving there was an elderly woman with this long stick or rod with a large quartz crystal at top and some leather cords hanging from it.  It was rather unique and beautiful and I helped her with the door and we exchanged a few pleasantries after which I said to her, “That is so pretty.  Do you mind if I ask what it is?”  She held it out to me and answered it was her shaman’s stick.  And thus started a conversation.  She pointed out a pretty little crescent-shaped crystal at the end of one of the cords – and it was broken!  She went on to explain the stick had been accidentally dropped and the end had chipped right off!  She was so upset and looking for a replacement.  I suggested a couple of online sources I could think of off the top of my head, but we began talking about how they begin to mean so much to us and I tried to encourage her and she me, and she was so sweet.  I know now it was no accident we met right then and we each had something to say the other needed to hear – don’t you love it when God does that?!

 

It was after that I noticed the chip in my little fluorite and all this began to roll around in my mind.  I feel like that little crystal sometimes.  I’ve been broken but I am still of use.  God hasn’t tossed me aside because of that.  He is still using me.  I know there is a reason I was drawn to that little piece.  Would I have gotten it if I had noticed the chip before I purchased it?  I honestly don’t know.  Do I regret getting that one?  Not for a moment.

 

So I got home and charged the rose quartz along with my amethyst and fluorite.  It was for little Henry.  I stumbled upon an interesting book and in thumbing through it came across a chapter on healing (again, no accident!) and it mentioned rose quartz.  Another page I flipped to talked about how good rose quartz is for children and that a piece is very good to keep in their rooms.  So back to the crystal section I went and home with me a beautiful rough piece of rose quartz came.  I set up this lovely little healing altar for little Henry and prayed over him, after which he proclaimed he was “all better.”  Don’t see the rose quartz?  That’s because he is holding it!  He has barely let it out of his sight since, so I know I made a good choice.

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We all ended up getting sick but were lucky.  I saw posts on Facebook where people have talked about being sick for 5-7 days and we all barely had it for two.  But a very long two days it was for each of us.  I know our prayers, confessions, oils, and all the little things we do helped and yes, we all break.  But there is peace there if you look for it.  Beauty too.

 

Have a lovely, peaceful, beautiful day,

 

Emily

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